Sherilyn Connelly > Diary > July 21 - 31, 2010



5/17/10
My Face for the World to See (Part II):
The Diary of Sherilyn Connelly
a fiction


July 21 - 31, 2010

 
I read your book and I find it strange
That I know that girl and I know her world a little too well
And I didn't know by giving my hand
That I would be written down, sliced around,
Passed down among strangers' hands

        Never again would I see your face
You carry a pen and a paper and no time and no words you waste
Oh, you're a voyeur, the worst kind of thief
To take what happened to us
To write down everything that went on between you and me

—Sheryl Crow, "The Book"
 
Most recent days at top, though updates over the course of the day are at the bottom of each day. Oh, you know how it works.
Names have been changed. If you're convinced something is a big mean public attack on you, that says more about you than me.

REALITY CHECK: I consider myself a writer, but not because of this page.
CONTENT WARNING (updated January 21, 2007): Depending on what month/year you're reading, this page may or may not deal with topics including but not limited to transsexuality, heartbreak, loneliness, alienation, raging self-pity, as well as sexual references both subtle and graphic. If any of these things bother you, or if I say things which conflict with your worldview, please close your browser window and grumble to yourself about how stupid and wrong I am.
STYLE ADVISORY: I overuse the following words: naturally, really, but (particularly as a conjunction), very, anyway, of course, just and I. A strong tolerance for semicolons, parentheses and dashes is also recommended.
TYPO CAVEAT: While spelling is one of my strong suits, you wouldn't know it to read these pages, which are essentially several years' worth of sloppy rough drafts. (Seriously. I'm embarrassed by how rough a lot of it is.) Feel free to point out typos.
SEMANTIC QUIBBLE: This is not a blog, it's an online diary. There's a difference, honestly. (Wanna know what's really funny? "Accidentally" calling it a blog. Comic gold!)


Archives

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Saturday, 31 July 2010 (haunted by the impression)
8:11am


Hung out at KrOB's place last night, and we watched Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut and Ghostbusters II. One was good, one was not, and as far as I'm concerned, it's a perfect way to spend a Friday night.

And now, to pack for the camping trip at Henry W. Coe State Park with Marta. Well, Marta and others—my understanding is that there'll be at least seven other people in our group, not to mention however many people are in adjacent campsites. But I'll be with her, and that's the important thing.

7:41pm

For as much as I love modern technology (I am very fond of my iPhone, and expect I'll get one of them fancy new white ones sometime next year), nothing is as stirring and evocative as the sound of a shortwave radio. My little cheap-o shortwave works much better up in the mountains than it does in the City for obvious reasons, and just listening to the Coordinated Universal Time on WWV makes me happy. And it's no coincidence that Alastair Galbraith's Coordinated Universal Time is the soundtrack to my favorite episode of kittypr0n.

sometime after midnight

The people next to us have a telescope! I got to see Saturn. And I think I've found the perfect place to watch a meteor shower.

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Friday, 30 July 2010 (in the black and out of control)
9:47am


Went to the gym every morning this week, as well as Monday and Tuesday afternoon. I think that means I'll be fine not going this weekend. Besides, we'll be hiking and stuff. In any event, my newish pinstripe pants are starting to feel looser, and that's always a good sign.

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Thursday, 29 July 2010 (face down like a needle in the vein)
5:11pm


Marta and I dropped off our grant applications today (nearly three hours before the deadline!), then had lunch at Canto Do Brasil. Whether I get a grant or not, I feel very proud of having finished the application at all.

Afterward, we went to Sports Basement to get a sleeping bag for a camping trip this weekend. I also got one for myself, since it seems like a good thing to have when the big earthquake hits. Or the tsunami. Or the comet. Whatever the big apocalyptic disaster is, I'll be ready.

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Wednesday, 28 July 2010 (the queen of hearts will break me)
10:50am


The grant is done, and a whole day before it's due. All that's left is lots of printing and copying and collating, since it has to be double-sided and three-hole punched. Weeds out the weaklings, I suppose.

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Tuesday, 27 July 2010 (what room i'm really in)
4:34pm


The Unthology editor wrote me with a couple of questions about my story, which was cool. I haven't asked, mostly because I want to be surprised when I open the actual book itself, but I suspect that being a British anthology, my dialogue will be in single quotes rather than double. Which makes me all the more excited about it, oddly enough. Dig me, I'm international!

In addition to going to the gym this morning, I was did an hour of cardio after work, the last time I'll be able to work out in the afternoon until well into next week. There was a youngish girl there who'd clearly had a lot of work done on her face—very little of it hadn't been reshaped by plastic surgery. That sort of thing always ooks me out, and at the same time, I can't help wondering what her original face looked like. Probably much prettier.

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Monday, 26 July 2010 (makes me feel like judas)
3:11pm


Marta joined me for Bad Movie Night (Interview with the Vampire), then came back home with me. I was up again at four and at the gym by five, because that's what happens on the weekdays. Damiel's been gone for the past week and won't be back until next week, but the regulars have been gathering in the same time and place to do it anyway. In Damiel's absence, my new job has been to use my iPhone to time the planks we do towards the end of the class—four sets at fifteen, thirty, forty-five and seconds seconds each. It's nice to have a purpose, and feeling like a part of the group certainly helps me to keep my resolve, especially on those mornings when the alarm goes off at four and I don't especially want to get out of bed. Every bit of willpower helps.

Now we're both working on our grant applications, which are due this Thursday. I think we're both closer to done than not.

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Sunday, 25 July 2010 (silent like a focus)
2:12pm


I made it to the gym this morning anyway, my first time on Sunday, and it'll probably be my last. It just gets too crowded too quickly, even at seven in the morning. And the seven o'clock weekend morning people are different from the five o'clock weekday morning people, in a bad way.

When I got home, I got right back to work on the grant application, mostly while chatting with Marta as she works on hers. I've been neglecting other personal writing duties as a result, but, well, that's what deadlines involving largish sums of money will often require.

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Saturday, 24 July 2010 (the burning tower)
10:15pm


I got in late last night, so I didn't go the gym this morning, or this afternoon. Besides, today's been all about continuing to work on the San Francisco Arts Commission grant, which is all of a sudden due this Thursday. That felt quick.

No Marta tonight, since it's her boyfriend's birthday. I'll be seeing her tomorrow.

Besides, it's hot in the poor places tonight. I'm not going outside.

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Friday, 23 July 2010 (fear of the end)
7:31pm


In the back row at The Castro Theater with KrOB and Puzzling Evidence for a double feature of Ghostbusters and one of my favorites, 1941. Can't complain.

do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?

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Thursday, 22 July 2010 (a regulated transmission)
5:13pm


Marta and I are in Santa Cruz. We rode the Giant Dipper—our impetus for coming out here—and are now going to Pink Godzilla for sushi, because that's the law. And a damn fine law it is.

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Wednesday, 21 July 2010 (now they can keep it)
4:34pm


Well, that figures. The day after I get my new office key, I still have trouble getting into the building because it's locked down due to a shooter heading our way. Not specifically to my office, but to a different organization in the same building. They were apprehended before they got here, but still, who says working for a non-profit isn't dangerous?

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