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Sunday, 10 January 2010 (gone out of your mind) 2:12pm Went to the gym. An hour on the treadmill, four miles, lots of sweat. Felt good. Whether or not I make it to Damiel's class tomorrow morning remains to be seen. | ||
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Saturday, 9 January 2010 (fade away) 11:12am I was really hoping that yesterday would be the worst of the cold, and that I'd wake up this morning feeling noticeably better. That's not the case, though. No matter. I'm reading at Perverts Put Out tonight, and I've gotta be ready for it. 3:11pm Went to Walgreens and some of the hardcore cold medicine, the kind where they make you feel like a criminal by having to take the card up to the counter and show ID. Somehow, this is supposed to prevent people from using the pseudoephedrine in it to make crystal meth. Sure, whatever. Just so long as I can still get the stuff. Pseudoephedrine, that is. Not crystal meth. I've been having less luck finding someone to come with me to the show tonight. Marta is out of town (state, time zone, continent), Sadie is busy, Ilene has to work, Horehound (who would normally be reading at the show) is in New York, Johanna will be there but with other has pre-existing seating plans into which I will most likely not fit, and so on and so forth. I briefly considered contacting Kristen, but, no. Even if Marta had been okay with it, I wouldn't have been. That ship ran aground a long time ago, and I was never meant to be on it. 11:41pm Great show tonight. Meliza sat in front of me so I didn't feel quite so lonely, and by the time I read I was feeling fine and not at all conscious of my cold. Unlike when I read it in Lit Crawl this past October, the Perverts Put Out crowd loved my story, and I got a lot of great feedback and praise and ego-stroking after the show, compliments about my writing and performance style, and, best of all, someone identifying it as a love story, which it is. The Loyal Opposition sitting in the front row remained stoney-faced as they always are when they have the misfortune to hear me read, but, that's okay, too. It's their job to remind me that I am by no means universally loved, and they do it well. | ||
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Friday, 8 January 2010 (she's undone) 6:10pm I just got properly dressed and went outside for the first time since getting home on Wednesday. Brrr. It's cold and unpleasant out there. Though I haven't been able to write, I've been using the time for other, backburnered projects which require more time than brainpower: I've transferred over all my old sfgoth mail to Gmail—at least, all the stuff since the Great Inbox Fire of 2004—and got another kittypr0n episode onto YouTube. The future! 8:11pm At my brother Barefoot's recommendation, I've started watching Friday Night Lights. A terrific show, but also horrifying—I am so glad I didn't grow up in that world, the all-American small town, let alone in Texas. Even Fresno wasn't that bad. | ||
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Thursday, 7 January 2010 (seven cliques) 9:07am My appetite is better than it was, but now my cold symptoms have started to come back in a big way. I actually woke up on Tuesday with a slightly sore throat and a bit of a snliffy nose, but went to Cally's spin class anyway. And it probably wouldn't have been fine, but no, the dumb stupid overpriced organic cafe had to poison me, thus lowering my defenses and allowing the cold to come in on. Bleh. 7:10pm The only thing worse than not being able to work out is that I just don't have the energy to properly write, which is to say work on Landing on Water. I can't get comfortable sitting at my desk, nor on my couch or bed with my laptop (though my mom's boyfriend is sending me a neat little laptop desk he build for me, which should solve those problems), plus I just can't get into the proper headspace for it. This time feels so wasted. I hate it. And I miss Marta. I don't know, maybe it's better that I got sick while she's way so it doesn't intrude on my time with her, but still. | ||
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Wednesday, 6 January 2010 (dirty hands) 11:52am Skipped Damiel's abs class today, since I'm still food-poisoned, and other than a few spoonfuls of yogurt this morning, I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday. Just not hungry at all. I'm ready for this to be over, please. That first big meal when I get my appetite back is going to be delicious, though it sure won't be from the overpriced organic cafe. 6:41pm Ugh. If I don't come out of this having lost a few pounds, I'm going to be severely disappointed. | ||
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Tuesday, 5 January 2010 (only for today) 4:07pm Went to my second spin class at the YMCA this morning. I like the instructor, Cally, but today confirmed what I suspected in her class on Saturday: the music she plays is atrocious. One of the things I miss most about Tyrol's class was the music, usually great electro-dancey stuff. Cally, on the other hand, started this morning's class with the full-length versions of the themes to Cheers and Friends. Plus she played stuff from The Polar Express, repeats from Saturday's class. Oh well. Nothing's perfect, and I'm not there (just) for the music. Still haven't heard back from either the editor or agent regarding Bottomfeeder. However, the editor of Instant City wrote yesterday with some suggested edits from my story "Tchotchke," which will be printed in the next issue. And today, the editors of Gender Outlaws wrote today to tell me that, pending final approval from the publisher, my piece "vestri pen0r quod vos" has been accepted into the book. Sweet! It'll be published this fall. Something to look forward to, and fairly presitigious to boot. They both are. Marta's in Hawaii now. Bleh. 8:21pm Speaking of bleh, I think the overpriced organic cafe around the corner from my office gave me food poisoning. My supervisor and I had lunch there today (his idea), my first time, and now my stomach really hurts and I'm queasy and have no appetite. The fact that they put lentils into their quesadillas should have been my first warning. | ||
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Monday, 4 January 2010 (hidden away) 8:31am It's half past eight, and so far I'm the only in the office on the first Monday after the holidays. Go figure. Plenty of people were in Damiel's abs class this morning, though I suspect the Stonestown YMCA overall isn't getting quite as much of the New Year's Resolution crowd as other gyms surely are right now, what the showers still being closed. Which is fine by me. Frankly, I won't mind if the showers never reopen, since I like how not-crowded the locker room is. | ||
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Sunday, 3 January 2010 (the constant) 11:47pm After Mission Creek last night, we had dinner at King of Thai on Taraval, returned to the Black Light District to light up and watch the first couple episodes of Cosmos (having finished Spaced, Cosmos and How I Met Your Mother are our new shows), crashed out, morning nookie, HWIYM, writing again at Mission Creek, then to The Dark Room for Bad Movie Night. Normally Marta doesn't stick around for the actual movie, but tonight she indulged me, both because it would be the last time we'll see each other for a couple weeks and because it's our big annual kickoff movie Snakes on a Plane. Not that she had the slightest bit of interest in the movie, but this particular night is always a carnival, and I wanted her there with me. And it was a big, raucuous crowd as always. My one mild disappointment was that a group of people from my office said they'd be there, and they never showed up. As I say, it's a mild disappointment at best. Hell, I've been putting on shows for the better part of a decade now, and I've long since come to terms with the fact that maybe ten percent of people who say they'll be there actually show up. So, I don't take it personally. (Vash even flaked on me a few times, and we were, like, a couple.) In any event, it was a great night and bodes well for the rest of the year. Now, sleep, since I have to be back up five to make it to Damiel's abs class. | ||
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Saturday, 2 January 2010 (a minor aversion) 3:43pm Went to my first spin class at the Y this morning. Alternating the weight and stretching with heavy cardio is what worked before, and while I won't be able to develop quite the same regimen as I had before, I'll get as close to as I can, and after a few months of this there's just no way that my stomach won't recede. Gods, I hate it so much. One of my big plans for last year (derailed like so many others by losing my job) was, after having worked out with Raphaela for a year straight, I was going to seriously look into getting abdominoplasty. Ye Olde Tummy Tuck. It's an idea that I've been considering aloud since 2001, and it returned in a big way last year, because I'm tired of waiting. But I want to feel like I earned it. I want to be able to go in for the consultation and have it obvious that I've at least tried, that I've been put in the hours at the gym, that I've done as much as I can without invasive surgery. Will it make me happy? The biggest myth about plastic surgery is that it'll cure the problems with one's life, and make them a happier person. I know enough to understand that happiness comes from within (you must worship in sadness as you worship in bliss), and that we're each personally responsible for it in our hearts. I get that. And I do believe I am happy as I am right now. However. HOWEVER. This one thing won't leave me the hell alone. Sometimes an itch just has to be scracthed, and I intend to scratch this particular itch. And wear the clothes I sed to wear and look the way I want to look. And if it doesn't make me happy? Well, that's my own fault. But I'm gonna try. In the meantime, I'm at Mission Creek with Marta. I have her until after Bad Movie Night tomorrow evening, and then she's gone for two weeks. | ||
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Friday, 1 January 2010 (tradewinds) 8:29pm New Year's Day be damned, I made it to the Stonestown YMCA this morning and did my crunches and stretches (minus Damiel) and the weight machines. This is the only way it works. | ||
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