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Saturday, 10 February 2007 (with a person like that) 5:34pm I'm working on a submission for a femme visibility anthology. They're asking for "prose that is thoughtful, analytical, raw, challenging, exploratory, and uniquely you." I don't know about the other stuff, but I can definitely manage the last part. I've been feeling particularly sensitive and vulnerabout my appearance lately as it relates to the buch/femme thing, so this times out nicely. It'll probably intersect some with "Transuming Conformity" and "The Slimming Effect," my essays for Transforming Community and Michelle's fashion anthology respectively, but that's okay. Everybody likes trilogies, right? Even if some yutzes don't recognize them as such.
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Friday, 9 February 2007 (baby's on fire) 3:12pm Ah, to be misunderstood in one's own time. The flame of my recent Medialoper column: First of all, this is stale news, and the content of this article recycled from articles you’ve done over the last month. I wish I could screen lame, old articles out of my Google clips that I’ve set up to look for Second Life blogs, but apparently Google hasn’t found a “crappy old articles” filter yet.Ha! Classic. I love it when gamers get uppity. Is it possible to physically threaten a computer graphic, which by definition has no physicality? And if they think I'm a name-caller (and the worse kind, an outright name-caller), they should check out Something Awful. Compared to them, I'm Philip Rosedale's biggest fan. Not gonna reply. No point. (Obviously this is a form of a reply, but I'm not going to post my own "uh-uh! you're wrong!" reply in the comments of the entry.) For starters, if they don't like the content Google Clips provides, that's their problem, not mine. Maybe they shouldn't use it, hrm? It's like people who complain about the stuff they see on their LiveJournal friendslist. What, you're only entitled to read things you like and/or agree with? Yeah, good luck with that. It's also one of the reasons why this page is flat, non-syndicated html existing outside the blog system and all of that. If webrings were still relevant, I wouldn't bother with those, either. If someone wants to read this page they have to go to the effort, and they can't complain about it sullying their friendslist or whatnot. Besides, I have no truck with people who make anonymous comments. At least I'm upfront about it when I say things that other people won't like; if this person doesn't have the courage to do the same, I'm not going to bother attempting to debate them. Not that I have anything to debate or defend. Meanwhile, I sent out an event email yesterday: Subject: QOM this Friday, Twilight Zone in MarchThat's pretty much average for my event emails; in fact, if it wasn't for the early notice about The Twlight Zone, the email would have just been about the Queer Open Mic, since I'm not hosting Bad Movie Night this Sunday. Note that I managed to work in a reference to one that coincides with the actual subject. Ain't I clever? Anyhow, someone replied as follows: Please take me off this list. I support gay liberation, gay marriage,and the rights of transsexuals, and would vote to support it, but all this gay gay gay trans trans trans at your events is tiresome and boring.I replied only with an acknowledgment of having fulfilled the request, as I always do when some asks to be removed. It's fascinating, though, how people bring in their own baggage and issues. For starters, this person has attended exactly two shows I've been involved with, and the last was in November of 2003, so it's not like they've yawned through all the gay gay gay trans trans trans at my events for a while. One of those two shows wasn't even queer-themed, and that remains the ratio to this day. There's nothing particularly queer about Bad Movie Night beyond my involvement, and that I'm a tranny had nothing to do with either way with Jim asking me to be involved. I take some pride in the fact that my involvement in the City's performance scene is not limited to queer events. There's a reason that I simply call myself a writer and leave it at that. (The reason being that in addition to being a black pot, I'm pretentious as fuck.) Still, though. Gay liberation? I don't think I've ever spoken those words, or typed before just now. The phrase was in vogue around the time I was born, but had become quite archaic by the time I came out. For that matter, there hasn't been a gay marriage angle to any show I've been in since the Barnes & Noble reading in June of 2005, so I've hardly been vocal about that subject lately, either. But I guess they're sick of hearing about all this stuff, which is certainly a risk when you live in this town. Compassion fatigue and all that. Oh well. Someone out there thinks I need to get a clue, and someone else doesn't want to deal with my flagrant queerness clogging their inbox. Such is life.
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Thursday, 8 February 2007 (robbing the warm body) sometime after midnight When Collette and I started sleeping together (April 15, 2005 or thereabouts) I kept it on the downlow, not writing about it at all because of the inevitable backlash. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't been so easily cowled.
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Wednesday, 7 February 2007 (my own devices) 3:32pm The Medialoper column is live, and even I got my first anonymous hater. I guess I'm officially a blogger now. Tonight, I go to Oakland.
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Tuesday, 6 February 2007 (torn between jupiter and apollo) sometime after midnight If plans didn't change, they wouldn't be plans. They'd be...I don't know. Destinies, or something. Anyway, I stayed in town tonight, pounding out this week's Medialoper column at Java Beach. If all goes well, I'll be seeing Vash tomorrow night, and the Bondage A Go Go excursion will wait.
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Monday, 5 February 2007 (where are you tonight? (journey through dark heat)) 10:33pm Managed to get a lot more writing done today in a shorter amount of time yesterday, when I was far too tired and unfocused. I got my energy and attention back up by the time Bad Movie Night rolled around, at least. Tomorrow night I'm going to Wonderland to write while Vash works on her art project, Wednesday I have tentative plans to meet up with Lily and Carmen at Bondage A Go Go, Thursday night is the first readthrough for Meliza's Twilight Zone episode (the latest draft of the script gives my character much more to do), and Friday is the Queer Open Mic. I'm sure stuff will continue to happen after that.
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Sunday, 4 February 2007 (changing of the guards) 1:46pm Damn near closed out the Power Exchange last night. Or, rather, this morning, as I stumbled out around half past five. Drove home in one piece, but only got a few hours of sleep before the sun and the no-necked monsters upstairs conspired to keep me awake. Met some interesting people, though. 5:35pm The potential Tammy Faye effect notwithstanding, there's little hotter than the look of mascara streaked by tears. 11:37pm This evening at Bad Movie Night (Doom), there were three girls in the audience whom I originally met at the Power Exchange: Jezebel, Lily, and Carmen, the latter two whom I only just met last night. I'm not sure whether that's synergy or convergence or another word entirely, but whatever it is, I like it.
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Saturday, 3 February 2007 (hallowed by martyr blood) 2:37pm I usually go pretty easy on myself when I do stupid things—I get over it quickly, don't get too mad at myself. But I'm having a real tough time not feeling like a blithering idiot for leaving the house without my laptop's power cord for the second Saturday in a row. Kinda fux0rs my pacing for the rest of the day, since if I'm going to get any work done here at the LGBT Center (which I intend to until they close at ten, at which point I'll jaunt around the corner to the Power Exchange), I'll need to drive home and back. Dumb stupid six-cell laptop battery, dumb stupid half-cell brain. Though we'd started out at a Femina Potens thing about pr0n and censorship, Vash and I ended up last night at Adobe Books for the release party for Instant City #4. Loren was reading, and both Vash and I have pieces in it. Mine is an essay about Divas (part of a section about local bars, which also includes pieces by Broke-Ass Stuart and my Night of the Living Dead brother Joe Donohoe), and hers an illustration intended to accompany the essay. Ironically, the essay and the illustration are in completely different parts of the issue. At least the drawing is next to a story by Jennifer Blowdryer, which feels like keeping it in the family a little.
We returned to the Black Light District to find that she's been accepted into an art show she's been excited about, the one for which she's been working on her pony project. I'm very happy for and proud of her. Now that it's definitely going to happen, we'll be seeing a lot less of each other over this next month, though thanks to ironic timing I won't be able to attend the opening (in pony mode or otherwise) because I have Twilight Zone tech rehearsal that night. Such is life for the artistic couple.
My brain keeps going back to being in the goth scene in '99, when everyone was so afraid of being called "goth," lest it shoehorn and label and restrict their movements somehow. Though my hair is blonde and up in pigtails, I'm still dressing in black and wearing what can only be described as goth makeup, and yet when I met with the Pride people this afternoon, they didn't bat an eye. Shawna even contacted me via my sfgoth email addy, so it's not like she couldn't have known. The goth thing didn't keep me from doing Queer Open Mic or Bad Movie Night or anything else I've done. What was everyone so afraid of back then?
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Friday, 2 February 2007 (spatial disorientation) 3:52pm if san francisco was some sort of femme/trans paradise where the girls were an eighth as into me as boys tend to be, that'd be great. wonderful. ideal. but it isn't. so what good are lofty standards?
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Thursday, 1 February 2007 (seek nothing) 7:12am The sfgate article on Bad Movie Night is up. In fact, it's not so much an article as a slideshow with sound, including my highly stupid comments from the interview on Monday. The primary still photograph is of Jezebel and I from behind, on the single day in recent months that I didn't put my hair up in pigtails. Of course. Thank goodness you can't see my face. I even remember what I'm doing in that shot: counting down to the end of the movie, which was just a few seconds away. Actually, you can see my face in some of the longshots within the slideshow itself. For having my hair down and no makeup, I guess I don't look that bad. Even better, they spelled my name right. I doublechecked the interviewer's notes on Monday, not that it always works. The title of "Dark Room co-host" is not strictly accurate, but hey, I'll take it. J
Speaking of The Dark Room, Meliza Banales has offered me a role in her upcoming Twilight Zone episode. Yay! An acting gig! Should get it out of my system for a while. Should, but won't.
Which is why I said yes.
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