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Monday, 10 November 2008 (for shame of doing wrong) 12:44pm Working with Raphaela tonight, for the last time until after Thanksgiving, since she's going out of town. Presumably I'll be working with her substitute until she gets back. I'll be going to Fresno for Thanksgiving. I've been intending to get Phoebe checked out before then, both since she's due for her regular three-month maintenance, and I just like to do it before a long drive. (Fresno's only a few hours away, but still, I'd prefer not to have her conk out over Pacheco Pass.) (It's a good thing I'm not paranoid.) Saturn of Colma's been pretty good about sending me reminders in the mail about regular maintenance, and I've been waiting for one from them, especially since they include coupons and I'm cheap like that. Never did get a letter from them, so I called this morning. Or, rather, I looked up them up online to get their number to call them, whereupon I discovered that they went out of business in September. Well, frack. Another care provider disappears. Happens a lot. The only other Saturn dealers in the Bay Area are in Concord, Newark and Dublin, all of which are much farther away than Colma, and are on the other side of large bodies of water. Guess I'll be crossing a bridge or two. | ||
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Sunday, 9 November 2008 (you never will find yesterday) 11:21pm Bad Movie Night was a phenomenal success. We sold out, and Rhiannon had to turn people away at the door, including some regulars who arrived late. There'd already been some positive buzz about the movie, but what really sold it was a writeup in today's San Francisco Chronicle's Datebook, page 14: BAD MOVIE NIGHTYay! Legitimacy from the press, and with a built-in plug for next week! (When I originally made the schedule for this month, I didn't know that I was putting Moonraker on the same weekend that the new James Bond movie opens. Pure dumb luck.) It makes me especially happy that they latched onto the Mystery Science Theater 3000 connection. | ||
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Saturday, 8 November 2008 (and nothing besides) 7:58am Going through a box in the closet, I came across a page from an old notebook. At first I thought it must have been from around 2000, 2001 at the latest, but comparing the quality of the lines to the rest of my notebooks—not to mention the jotted-down email addresses a couple of people I didn't meet until later—places it in late 2004, early 2005, just prior to the breakup with Maddy. I have the repellant air of desperation about me. But I know nothing else. [must it always end in tears?]I'm not sure why it got removed from the notebook and hidden. Probably for fear of getting in trouble for writing such heretical thoughts. It's how things were, what there was to be dealt with. I did what had to be done, and I don't expect to ever be vindicated, or even pardoned. 11:12pm Erranded with Sadie, went to Tyrol's spin class, got some writing done, and wasn't troubled by the rain. A good day. | ||
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Friday, 7 November 2008 (hanging off the bone) 8:01pm Did my hour with Raphaela this morning. Pilates is a harsh bitch-goddess. There was a big anti-Proposition 8 march this evening. I chose not to attend. Puzzling Evidence has posted a video of what he calls "a few of the tamer moments" from Sadie's birthday party a couple weeks back. Unsurprisingly, I'm not in it at all. However, Laura wrote yesterday to tell me that she has a DVD of my performance at the open mic last month—she only specified me, but it may well be the whole show, which I'm kinda hoping it is. She says she'll get it to me Sunday after next. | ||
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Thursday, 6 November 2008 (to a point) 9:50am Went to Tyrol's spin class last night, and I'd planned on going to Ask Dr. Hal afterward, but I got emotionally derailed by some bad news. (The potential from the night before died before it had a chance to go anywhere.) So I went to Sadie's, where her and Cesare, a friend of mine as well as a boy she's seeing, were kind enough to comfort me. 7:31pm Went to the gym this morning, and again after work. Tomorrow I get to do my thing with Raphaela again, which I'm looking forward to. Meanwhile, in my mad cardio-ness, I've finished Split: A Memoir of Divorce and have moved on to Jesus Land by Julia Scheeres. I ran into Hayley as I was returning to my office after the gym this evening, and added an extra mile onto my workout by walking with her back to her store, just because. She still laughs at my jokes, which is always a good sign. (One that I probably put too much stock in. she's laughing! she has to like me!) When we got there, I asked her if she'd like to get dinner sometime. She said she'd love to, but she isn't sure if she has the time or energy for it right now, and as she put it: i don't want to string you along socially. There's a lot of that going around, and I do appreciate the honesty, even if the message always makes me a little sad. I told her I understood, and that the offer would remain open. Which it will. We hugged goodbye, and I returned to my office. Walking past a parked car on my way back, I didn't realize Vash was inside until I'd mostly passed it. But the hair, the jacket, the bumper stickers on the car—it was her. She was intensely looking down at a newspaper, the way I often will when someone's approaching that I don't want to deal with. Or maybe she was just reading the newspaper and wasn't aware of my presence at all. Doesn't matter, and it didn't send me into a tizzy the way seeing her in August did. Mostly I just ruminated that given my office's proximity to SomArts, and the fact that both Open Studios and Day of the Dead just ended, it's a wonder that it took this long for our paths to cross, even so tangentially. And then: i hope you're doing well, baby. Which is how I still think of her, and what I think of her. The world, as is its wont, spins on. | ||
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Wednesday, 5 November 2008 (distant early warning) 1:02pm Spent most of last night with Bunny, as we bounced from one election night celebration to another. It was a good night in San Francisco, in a lot of ways. There was potential. | ||
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Tuesday, 4 November 2008 (never open the last door) 11:51pm My City is joyous tonight. | ||
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Monday, 3 November 2008 (the words feel like stone) 6:42pm I guess it just gets colder and darker from here, huh? 7:57pm Then I almost had dinner with Bunny last night, but that didn't work out for timing reasons. We'll be having dinner on Thursday, though. Laura and I supposed to be getting Sunday after next. That'll happen or it won't. Bad Movie Night was a hit—the feature (the original Battlestar Galactica) drew a big, enthusiastic crowd, as I'd suspected it would. I think it's going to be a good month for us. Afterward, a girl came up to me and gushed about how much fun she had. That's what I like to hear. Got home a little later than I would have liked, after eleven, so I figured that I wouldn't be going to the gym in the morning. Normally I wouldn't go on Monday morning at all, since I'd be working with Raphaela in the evening, but she's still out of town and I decided not to get together with the substitute. I set my alarm for half past six, but my body woke up at half past five the way it always does (having evidently already adjusted to the time change), so up and away I went. It was windy if relatively dry by the time I made it to the office at eight, but windy and quite wet by the time I had to leave in the afternoon for my Lyon-Martin appointment. It took me about five minutes to hail a cab, by which time I was nice and soaked. The town car which splashed water on me in an obvious display of class warfare didn't help. (Or helped, depending on your point of view.) It didn't bother me, though. It's only moisture. The appointment went well. A few of the girls on the staff looked familiar, and they certainly seemed to know who I am. There were a few moments when I did a really lousy job of hiding my animosity towards my old doctor, and my new doctor didn't exactly ask for details, but I almost compulsively provided them, maligning a colleague of hers in the process. It wasn't very classy of me, but nobody's ever accused me of having too much class. Anyway, she seems fine with keeping my dosage where it is for now. I had blood drawn—when the phlebotomist commented on how "enthusiastic" my vein was, I assured her that gushing blood is one of my specialties—and I'm going back in next week to see what it tells them. I'm alone now in the office, a small pool of black and white light in a vast, stone-walled darkness. Going home soon to Perdita, sleep, then getting up and doing the same thing again. Though the world's going to change tomorrow. | ||
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Sunday, 2 November 2008 (within alien landscapes) 12:18pm Better today. Not that there was anything wrong with me yesterday. I just needed to not do anything. I was in bed by half past nine, and set the alarm for a quarter past six. Of course, I totally forgot about the time change, and didn't realize it until I got out to my car and looked at my phone, which informed me that it was actually a quarter to six, not a quarter to seven. Yeah. Whoops. That'll happen. I went on about my business anyway, making it to the gym by a little after seven. Sundays are normally my day off, but I hadn't gone or even exerted any appreciable energy on Saturday, so I went today. This is the only way it works. This afternoon is rehearsal for Rhiannon's show, and this evening is Bad Movie Night. In between, I'm having dinner with Laura. Or not. Those are the two possibilities. 2:43pm "Not," as it turns out. The world spins on. | ||
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Saturday, 1 November 2008 (like some heroine) 7:09pm One of my best Halloweens in years, Sadie and I party-crawling on foot and reveling in the madness in the Mission. There were a few not-so-pleasant moments, including me gently weeping on a stoop as Sadie comforted me, but that's just part of the trip. We closed out The Power Exchange (which hasn't been shuttered just yet, but soon), and ended up for the second weekend in a row at Bob's Donut & Pastry Shop on Polk as the sun began to rise. I didn't get home until seven, and was up again at a quarter to two. I've decided to go easy on myself today, staying in (except for a brief rainy jaunt for food), relaxing, earplugs in and headphones on lying on the couch watching movies (Slaughterhouse-Five and The Sting), not going to the gym or Tyrol's spin class. Days off are a good thing now and again, especially when you were up all night. | ||
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