Sherilyn Connelly > Diary > May 11 - 20, 2009



10/25/08
My Face for the World to See (Part II):
The Diary of Sherilyn Connelly
a fiction


May 11 - 20, 2009

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Wednesday, 20 May 2009 (run straight down)
9:52pm


No gym today, as I instead focused on getting as much work done as possible. Besides, I hadn't gotten much sleep last night. I'm not sure why, but I've been having trouble falling asleep lately. I haven't had a lick of caffeine in months, and there's very little sugar in my diet, so I really don't know what the deal is. My body's just weird. So I did a lot of job search stuff, including getting a surprise job lead from one of my few dozen readers, as well as making an appointment with a recruiter to whom Temple wrote a positively glowing letter of recommendation about me. She's like that. She's also buying me lunch at Cafe Gratitude tomorrow, which is also what she's like.

My four-plus year-old printer finally chose today to die, and after poking around a bit on Twitter and Facebook to see if any of my friends had a spare, I went ahead bought a new one on sale. I'm looking for work and I'm a writer, so it's an investment, pure and simple. I'll get my money's worth.

sometime after midnight

You just can't turn away, can you?

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Tuesday, 19 May 2009 (lost ones)
8:16am


The interview with me on The Lesbian Podcast is up.

11:12pm

I finally listened to the interview. I'm not really a fan of my voice, especially when I'm extemporizing, so I was reluctant at first. It's not bad, if a little nihilistic at times, though I say like, you know the way most other people say um. I'm so Californian it hurts.

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Monday, 18 May 2009 (taking a mile)
10:52pm


After working out with Raphaela tonight, I went to OfficeMax and bought a dry-erase board to keep at my desk so I can better keep track of stuff I need to do. It's quite possibly the most grown-up thing I've ever done in my life.

Meanwhile, I've been officially notified (via form email) that the agent who'd asked to see my manuscript will be out of commission until at least September, and that I should query others at the same agency. And so I will.

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Sunday, 17 May 2009 (adoration and withdrawal)
11:09pm


I watched A View to a Kill twice today, once with my buddy Ziad in preparation for his Bad Movie Night hosting debut and again at the show itself, and both times I got the hiccups. Coincidence? I think not. (The other possibility is that I wore sandals today, and my unsocked feet being colder than usual somehow resulted in hiccups. But that's just silly.) And now, off to Divas for karaoke. They don't have Throbbing Gristle's "Almost a Kiss," but nothing is perfect.

sometime after midnight

"Keep on Loving You," "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover" and "Losing Grip." None were anywhere close to my range. I may not actually have a range. The weird thing is, I sound much better to myself when I'm singing along to them in my car, which I do frequently. Oh well. Karaoke isn't meant to be pleasant or entertaining, at least not when I do it. It's therapy, damnit.

I imagine that if I was singing for Lorne, his response would be: seriously, babe? get over it.

The drunk, fucked-up and belligerent genetic girl was there again. We talked a bit, inasmuch as I can with someone who's such a sloppy mess, mostly just trying to find a way to excuse myself. She said she's a lesbian and was clearly into me, both from what I could make out of her slurred words and the way she was getting grabby. Unfortunately, her breath is lethal at eighteen inches, which breaks the deal before it even begins. That, and the likelihood that she wouldn't be quite as into me when sober.

Also present was Raj, a karoake regular, and the boy who came with Rachael to Bad Movie Night back in January. Very sweet kid. He's also a cartoonist, and asked if he could draw me in the background of an upcoming strip, sitting on a couch writing in my notebook. My natural habitat.

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Saturday, 16 May 2009 (starting to drift)
12:33pm


Just got out of the gym. I also went yesterday morning, because, this the only way it works. Besides, it's closed tomorrow. Anyway, I have work to do at home, but it's far too nice/warm a day not to be outside, so I'm going to hang out with Sadie. Productivity is for rainy days.

2:03pm

Another (beautiful) day, another epic flirt fail. Can't say I'm not trying, though.

7:40pm

Ended up at the Chit Chat Cafe in Pacifica with Sadie this afternoon, and am now at Sun Rise in the Mission with Rhiannon. (Vegan pupusas!) I'd originally considered going home after Sadie and I parted company, but I realized I wasn't ready to be alone tonight. I'm still not, but it'll happen eventually.

9:11pm

A woman walking by told me (apropos of nothing) that I look great. It's a pity on my way home. Going to Divas to dance is tempting, but I'm planning on going to tomorrow night after Bad Movie Night for karaoke, I'm have plans to go there with Marta next Friday, and I've spent enough money today. I ate out twice (!) today, after all. I'm still very much on the dole, and it would be for the best not to forget it.

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Friday, 15 May 2009 (from steeplechase to palisades)
sometime after midnight


It was a really nice day with my mom—among other things I took her to The Dark Room where she met Jim, and she asked to go to the Wave Organ!—and I think she may come back sooner rather than later/never. The show was great, too. We were in the front row and I made eyes with Marc Maron, oh my yes.

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Thursday, 14 May 2009 (left in the dark)
9:10pm


Hit the gym this morning, then went erranding, including a trip to Target for new pants. It's official: I'm down to a size fourteen. I'm pretty sure I can safely call it "official" because I've bought fourteens from two different manufacturers which fit nicely. So, yay. Eventually, twelve.

My mom's coming into San Francisco tomorrow, the first time since 2000, and we're going to see Marc Maron and Janeane Garofalo at Cobb's in the evening. She's leaving again Saturday morning after less than twenty-four hours, and it's likely to be the last time she visits during the Obama Administration.

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Wednesday, 13 May 2009 (lost cause)
2:12pm


Ugh. I looked at something which I didn't know that I shouldn't have looked at, and now I really wish I hadn't. Suddenly, I'm very glad I have Elvis Costello's "I Want You" and Of Montreal's "The Past is a Grotesque Animal" on my iPhone.

8:25pm

I did more data entry stuff at the LGBT Center today, and in the twenty-four hours since Angie and I had briefly discussed it, I pretty much already had the open mic all planned out (a one-shot Queer Open Mic homecoming hosted by Johanna and I, and unfortunately Lynnee can't feature because he'll be out of town). I realize I'm actually pretty good at this sort of thing, and I'm going to expand my job search to include event coordination, because why the hell not? Angie and I also talked about the rest of the afternoon, of which there's basically three and a half hours to fill, and I think I alredy have it all planned out, too. She commented at one point that one of the reasons she wanted my help planning the event was to make it "cool and edgy," which I find hilarious considering that I've gotta be at least ten years older than her. Kids these days, I tell ya.

Still, in addition to taking advantage of my mad organizing skillz, Angie seems to be taking a particular interest in me as far as the job search stuff goes. She said that she had me come in to do the data entry stuff (which was relatively quick and easy and could have been done by anyone else) in order to help me remain familiar with the whole office environment thing. I know exactly what she means, as it's been over two months since I've been unemployed, and that whole time of having a job and a desk and a life which required me to be elsewhere several hours a day five days a week is already feeling distant and dreamlike. I'm pretty sure that it happened, but I'm also pretty sure it was another life entirely, so it's good to...recharge my sense-memory, as it were.

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Tuesday, 12 May 2009 (the past is a grotesque animal)
9:41pm


Volunteered for a while at the LGBT Center this afternoon, doing data entry for some paperwork left over from the job fair. While I was there, Angie asked me if I'd be interested in putting together an open mic with a trans/genderqueer emphasis for the Center's big Pride kickoff shindig at the end of the month. Evidently my reputation for this sort of thing proceeds me.

I did make it to the gym today. Just a half hour on the treadmill, but better than nothing.

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Monday, 11 May 2009 (songs in red and gray)
10:30am


5/10/09
11:57pm

Karaoke at Divas. Rachael was supposed to be at Bad Movie Night, or at least she said she'd be there, but she wasn't. Maybe I scared her off when I told her I was planning on finding a dark corner and going to town on her. She said it was very tempting (calling it "sapphic PDA" or something along those lines), but it's also possible she was just being polite. Sure, she practically leapt down my throat in January, but she was wasted that night and it doesn't mean she's still interested now. So it goes. (Old hippie at Divas staring at me, boring a hole through my skull.) Very very very few responses on OkCupid. The drunk, fucked-up and rather belligerent genetic girl at the bar—she's cute in that inelegantly wasted way, except that as previously established she's drunk, fucked-up and rather belligerent, so, fail. The drought continues unabated. "Dark End of the Street" and "My Favorite Mistake." Not quite dark enough, but they'll have to do. Dunno if things are going anywhere with Marta. (Busted out "My Favorite Mistake," if I do say so myself.) Too early to tell.


10:58am

My story "Tchotchke" is going to be published in the next issue of Instant City. Sweet.

11:46am

I adore articles like this ("Who gets custody of inspiration? 14 memorable entertainments inspired by real-life divorces"), since I usually end up discovering new favorite books and songs.

10:22pm

No gym today. I didn't make it in the morning or afternoon, and I had to reschedule with Raphaela (though we haven't actually decided on a new time) so I could record an interview with The Lesbian Podcast because, you know, priorities. And in addition to not exercising, I had a Red Seal Ale during the interview—as soon as I walked in the door, they offered it to me—so I at least got plenty of empty calories. And I had a Seven and Seven at Divas last night. I've also been getting back into the habit of wearing makeup, and if getting tarted up and boozing won't change my luck, nothing will.

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