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Sunday, 10 June 2007 (gazing back) 10:52pm Made it through the Queer Open Mic on Friday and Bad Movie Night this evening without headsplodiness. That's a very good sign. There was some extreme hurt last night—this morning around half past four, technically—but I tried to touch myself, so there you go.
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Saturday, 9 June 2007 (elephant gratitude) sometime after midnight that's not a person! that's an it!
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Friday, 8 June 2007 (look right through) 7:07pm Met with the one of the big Pride cheeses and did a walkthrough of the Tranny Stage site. There wasn't much to walk through; mostly it involved determining between which two parking meters on Larkin between Golden Gate and Turk it'll be constructed. 542-04240 and 542-04180, for the record. It's getting more real and more scary all the time—two weeks!—but I think I'll manage.
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Thursday, 7 June 2007 (look right through) 3:26pm Though it lacks wi-fi and is only open until ten, the Sea Biscuit is my favorite place to work in my neighborhood. Unlike Java Beach I can always find a place to sit and plug in, since it's a tad off the beaten path and nowhere near as popular. Being a two-minute drive from the Black Light District helps, too. And, for the most part, I'm left alone, as opposed to the occasional intrusion by local derelicts at Java Beach. My personal favorite was the guy who blatantly started reading my screen one night. Anyway, there are annoyances at the Sea Biscuit, mostly in the form of a slightly mentally challenged fellow who's something of a regular. He's also very loud and annoying, and mostly ignored by everyone else, though the clerk will sometimes shush him.
So I was at The Sea Biscuit for a few hours last night, writing. (Rewriting, anyway.) I was in line, having just placed my order, when the aforementioned mentally challenged fellow came up to, violated my personal space, and said: are you a man? I flinched a little, as I always do and probably always will, but said nothing, which I don't do nearly enough. I just looked at him for a moment, probably scowling, then turned away. Thankfully, that was the extent of his attention span, and he wandered away. If the people at the counter heard him, they didn't show it.
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Wednesday, 6 June 2007 (stomping on the switches) 9:42am Mission accomplished. Among the keys are a lack of sugar and physical excitement. At least, that's what the evidence suggests. The chocolate at Bittersweet followed by Bad Movie Night, specifically introducing it; I always get adrenalized when I'm on stage. That's part of the fun. Unfortunately, I think that's what brought on the Sunday evening attack. By the time I made it home I was feeling much better—until I masturbated, at which point it all came slamming back.
The pattern more or less repeated on Monday night. I got an ice cream sammich from Bi-Rite (dark chocolate cookies and mint ice cream, nummy) and had a bite of Sadie's coffee sundae. Caffeine! Also ate real food, a vegan concoction Sadie cooked. All fine and good until I got home again, and figured, oh, it can't possibly hurt to touch myself tonight, can it? Oh my yes. I don't know if the veins in my temples were visibly throbbing, since Perdita was asleep in the other room and she's no good as a witness, but it sure felt that way. So: arousal and/or accelerated heartrate makes for hurty head. Considering that the first one hit during an intimate moment with Hayley—not factoring in the other elements, such as alcohol and/or deyhydration—it makes sense. Good thing there's not much chance of having sex before I return to Rachel this weekend for squidthinning, and self-abuse is simply not going to happen. Sylvester Graham would be pleased.
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Tuesday, 5 June 2007 (you should know) 11:24pm A better head day, and a rare evening spent at home. Rimma came over, and we hung out, gossiped, and learned how to educate trainables. And I intend to make it to bed without my cranium splitting in two.
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Monday, 4 June 2007 (me, i'm not) 6:12pm My status as a good kittymom has been restored: according to the vet, Perdita is perfectly healthy. Her teeth are clean, she isn't overweight (most of her mass is fur anyway), and in general everything checks out. Yay. 11:12pm I swung by The Dark Room to pick up the Armageddon disc (since I bailed long before it was over) and catch the tail end of Clue rehearsal. Many people asked if I was okay, which was very sweet of them. After rehearsal ended, Sadie and I went back to her place, had dinner (after an impulse run to the Bi-Rite creamery), and are now attempting to get some work done.
My head has been fine today. I've been letting the squid loose rather than tying it back, which seems to help.
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Sunday, 3 June 2007 (just stand back) 11:43pm And my head did just fine until this evening at Bad Movie Night. It started to throb a little while I was introducing the show, but once the movie (Armageddon) began, it went 'splodey again. I handed my mic to Maura, went into the restroom and writhed for a while, then moved into Jim and Erin's room and laid down for about an hour. After pawning various painkillers off other people, I felt I had it together enough to drive to Sadie's, where I'm at now. I feel bad about leaving during the movie, the first time I've ever done that (not counting Caligula, which I'm arbitrarily calling different), and hopefully the last, but I was just in too much pain to stay. Feeling a little better, but still not sure if I'm going to attempt the drive home tonight. Our operating theory, based on the commonalities between Thursday night and today, was caffeine. I had a late mocha on Thursday night with Hayley, among other tactical errors involving alcohol and a lack of hydration and food. Then Sadie and I went to Bittersweet this afternoon and had many chocolatey things, which involves sugar and caffeine. So, the squid had almost certainly increased my sensitivity, but I don't believe it's the reason in and of itself.
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Saturday, 2 June 2007 (your violent past) 12:24pm Doing better today. Better enough, anyhow. I managed to leave the house and get food without my head splitting in two, which is definitely an improvement.
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Friday, 1 June 2007 (murderer) 11:58pm Not a whole hell of a lot else went smoothly yesterday. Met up with Sadie to see the Crumb exhibit at the Yerba Buena; that went well enough. Pick up Hayley from work later in the evening, and things started to go downhill. Not with her as such, she didn't do anything wrong, but me. I made a few major tactical errors, and I'm still paying for them today, including one of my worst headaches ever. Missed a gig of Vash's tonight, which doubly sucks since I was supposed to be providing multimedia support via my laptop, but at least she was able to take the laptop so she could do it herself. I didn't completely screw things up. I hope.
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